


Always

by YaBoyTwoHats



Series: Reinvent Love [5]
Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Always (Song), Brendon misses him too, Fluff, He misses his boy, M/M, Ryan is very sweet, brendon, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 14:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15487425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoyTwoHats/pseuds/YaBoyTwoHats
Summary: Spencer texted Ryan a link to Panic's first post-split album and Ryan obsessed over lyrics that he knows Brendon had written about him. Very cute, promise.





	Always

Mere minutes after the last time he had thought about his old band, he got a text from one of the two-no, three (Jon had told him about their replacement a few days before, Dallon Weekes)-remaining members. Spencer Smith, his best friend for literal decades, texting him a link to a free download for Panic! at the Disco’s new album, daringly entitled Vices & Virtues. Ryan thought the name odd considering its biblical notions and Brendon’s self-proclaimed atheism. None of the song names in the track list seemed all that religious and, not knowing nor caring about the order, Ryan hit the shuffle button and leaned back. A soft guitar intro played and soon Brendon began singing, lyrics mediocre but vocals just as potent as ever. He could tell it was a love song. The lyrics were obvious, not even close to metaphorical and depressingly easy to decipher. Ryan applauded his old bandmates- especially Brendon. His vocal capability was showcased marvelously, especially in the chorus. When Ryan became aware of the lyrics again, he understood the song could only have been written by Brendon. He knew because it was written for him.

Ryan had visited Brendon once in hospital with a get well card. He’d broken his toe running around and having a nerf battle with Jon and Spencer while Ryan watched from afar and thought up lyrics. He’d brought Brendon the card which, inconveniently, fell apart as soon as Brendon touched it. They talked for an hour just on the subject of greeting cards. 

The chorus made sense too. Brendon never made Ryan feel bad for it, but both men knew that Brendon was the second of the two of them to catch feelings. Ryan had been smitten with Brendon for a long time.

Just as the line, oh the castle’s under siege but the sign outside says leave me alone, flowed through the air, Ryan confirmed it. The band’s breakup was half because of Brendon and Ryan’s. Neither wanted to break up, Jon and Spencer had just agreed that they were too distracted with each other to notice their band’s deterioration happening right before their eyes. When describing the band’s condition, Jon and Spencer had described it as such- the band was being destroyed and Brendon and Ryan just wanted to be left out of it.  
Sometimes Ryan wished he’d never let Jon and Spence break them up, stayed with Brendon. Brendon seemed to wish so too.

Ryan put the song on repeat. The lyrics were lacking but it was so, oh so comforting that Brendon still missed him. Ryan, if it wasn’t obvious enough, missed Brendon too. This song to him felt like Brendon’s embrace, like the feeling of warmth spreading through his body as Brendon kissed him, the feeling of love as Brendon announced his, curled together in their bed and wrapped in each other. There’s always time. If this was Brendon’s way of reaching out to him, then that was Brendon telling Ryan that they always had time. Brendon had time for him, Brendon was waiting for him.

Never had he more regretted leaving Panic. He hadn’t even talked to Jon in months, The Young Veins were dead. He had no band, no job. Technically, he’d never need a job again, but Ryan knew his mental health would deteriorate if he didn’t have an outlet. That was always what music was to him. That, and a reason to spend all of his time with his best friends and the love of his life.

After fifteen minutes of thinking, pondering, wishing, wondering, Ryan took the song off of repeat. A teacher’s voice rang out to a children’s choir that quickly turned into French lyrics and turned into music he knew, recognized even. He had even written some of those lyrics. Ryan had no doubt now that Brendon missed him, probably as much as Ryan missed Brendon. On impulse, Ryan pressed a few buttons and found Brendon’s contact info.

RR: If I said I wanted to join theband again, would you even consider saying yes?

Ryan glared at the typo he’d left but there was nothing he could do about it. The message was sent.

BU: Always


End file.
